Ever wonder why so many of the things you work so hard to do for your partner, family, and customers seem to go unnoticed and unappreciated?
People, by definition, are unable to show gratitude for things they don’t care about.
Consider the example of the hardworking parent and seemingly apathetic teenager: The parent has a list of things she works very hard to provide for her child. Let’s call these things “care points.” For the parent, care points are things like a house to live in, food to eat, transportation, and access to education. The teenager has a very different set of care points. In many cases, the teen cares most about status, social interactions, and a murky pool of worries that plague youth today. Neither parent nor teen is being intentionally unappreciative. They simply care about very different things.
It follows logic that such a disconnect would result in a parent who feels like she’s expending energy into a black hole while the teenager feels ignored.
What’s the fix? Make a point to recognize the disconnect between care points and find other ways to connect in a satisfying way.
For the parent, learning to actively listen to the teenager can do a lot to move the relationship in a positive direction.
For the teen, avoiding statements like, “This house is a hell hole!” and completing household chores promptly can do a lot to alleviate seemingly draconian parenting techniques.
For the business, you’d do well to stop reacting to your competition and focus instead on meeting your customers’ needs in ways they truly care about.
Or you could continue providing your partners, families, and customers with things only you care about and gripe about how ungrateful they are for all your work.
Your choice.
image: boy